Lokpal - Lost in Translation?

Buzzword - 'Anna Hazare ', 'Lokpal', 'Corruption'
Habitat - 'Streets' , 'Media- in India and outside' (All my social media is spammed with Hazare and posts about him even when I am not in India)
Who cares - apparently 'We the people of India' (Including me)



If you survive and breathe in the air that has any remote connection to India, you know what I am talking about. Its probably a crusade of the decade and is getting comparison to the movements the great Gandhi organized. I am still overwhelmed by the situation.

I don’t care about Anna Hazare. I have numerous reasons to do so but lets skip that. India being a land of 'heroes and zeroes' I understand his rise to stardom and how people saw him as a messiah who could bring about The Change. But I would request any inquisitive mind to read the following article.
http://in.news.yahoo.com/blogs/opinions/rorschach-effect-indian-politics-053923332.html

If you cared and went through that you might agree with what I say next or you could be cursing me under your breathe, calling me a fake or worse an Indian in US not really knowing what she is talking about. I hope I can change some of it by the time you finish reading this.

We - the people of India - undermine ourselves. We always look for a savior to help us resolve our daily life cribbing. We fight for causes we hardly understand and are hopeful after each temple/shrine visits. We stand united when our heroes are attacked and things just get too personal from thereon. We are extremists, we go from being dormant to rebellious.

A lot of people will tell you it's wrong. They would tell you we do the rat race and follow the crowd. People will convince you with strong evidence and exemplify how we are a bunch of stupid fellas who do not know what we want from ourselves, our lives, our government. How we do not know the cause, the end and the reason. How we make a man our hero and will die saving his honor. How we are apathetic and hypocrites. How we swear to fight against corruption when we just did an under the table deal. How we are a bunch of hopefuls hypnotized by the words of wisdom and change by a man we hardly know about things we hardly will understand?

Well I beg to differ. Did all of them, and here I am quoting a friend, 'Understand the chemistry or history books that were shoved up their a**'. But we still did and an 'engineer' today is still an engineer though he might hate his job or know practically nothing about it. I am not supporting the ignorance people have about the whole situation but what I do not understand is the downright disapproval of the movement. Anna Hazare might not change the world and the Indian democracy but he is a stepping stone. People support him even though they do not know Lokpal because his stand symbolizes all they want to fight/change. As a friend said, 'The system is the disease and corruption is a symptom to it. With Lokpal we fight the symptom and not the disease'. Agreed. But if we could get rid of the disease in a blow, would the symptom have been ignored/discounted for so long. What we need is a start and I guess this moment is a ripened point. It gives the politically powerless middle class a medium to project their hopes, their idea of self-righteousness and the sense of a bringing about a change to the system they have nurtured, been forced upon and in some cases even benefited from.

Hazare is no Mahatma Gandhi. But he did bring people from all walks of life together for a cause.
Sure his method (of blackmail via the hunger fast) and his remedy (creating an alternative center of power and discretion instead of tackling the root causes of corruption) might be dubious but he did make India stop. He has the focus and determination not many of our leaders can claim. He might not be the most self righteous person but he has struck the right chord with the people. He made them ponder about things they chose to ignore, shook the belief that feeble middle-class vote won't make a difference and brought them together for a cause. And more importantly, he has their trust which sadly is not true for most of our leaders. When was the last time India saw such a build up?


So why the government ‘for the people’ and ‘by the people’ refusing to ‘listen to the people’?

I frankly do not know the answer. But what is important probably is people of India, after a while, think they know what they want. India is thinking. It has changed the notion of time in India to an extent where people are taking time to reflect on a diseased past that has haunted our country for a long time, a disease not only forced upon them but that became the very essence of their living and being. What Anna and Lokpal did was to take the everyday gossip about the system and the disease, make it into a conversation beyond ‘Yeh system hi kharab hai’. The conversation empowered the people towards a change, a revolution. And a revolution that a democracy had been waiting and needing for a while. The more enlightened mind could argue how wrong and stupid their fight is or help them understand and support their cause. This is beyond Lokpal and Hazare, its probably even beyond corruption for that matter. This for me signifies an awakening, a one long due.

Love My Life! I Do! Its Just As Weird As Me!

Its like one of those days, when gloominess envelopes you. No matter what you do, you feel down and beaten. Life looses its meaning and you are left wondering what is that you want. What do you wanna be? Why are you where you are? Why does not any of this look familiar, the places, the faces? Why in this crowded place you feel lonely and lost? And amongst all these whys and much more you wonder why the hell is there even a Why?

At times, God decides to test u, ur patience, ur belief in yourself. Its one of those times, when no one can save you, and you are all for yourself, lonely and ever so lost. Your strongest beliefs seem to shake and there comes tumbling down your dream world. You get homesick, you wanna run and hide in that comfort zone of yours, away from the alleged 'cruel' world, the same one you couldnot get enough of a day ago. You wanna scream so loud that the skies are filled with your echos, cry so hard that tears wash away all that you feel, fight a lion and you know you will win. Such is your optimism about the pessimism. Argh…strange thing called Life and its so true that it sometimes just doesnot make sense. Its so awkward and out of place like a filled room with people in cages with monkeys gaping at them. Its as pointless as using a white crayon on a blank paper and sketching your life with it. So you get it don’t you! Its one of the phase in life when reason escape the reasons, when not the chocolates or the shoppings or the peole you love with all your heart can make you happy. Its one of the days when you wanna be left alone, untouched, pitying yourself and your life and how none of it makes sense making it even more screwed than it is.

Today is one such day. May god bless its soul.

Time to give this blog a fresh lease of life!

Its been ages since I last wrote in here. Not that I have not written, just that I have not shared. I was lost in translation between my heart and my mind. I was picking together pieces and making new memories. I was busy but not too busy to write. I wrote, but for myself and my lies. haha...

Well attempting a new attempt.I hope it has enough in it to keep me going.

Love my Life. I do. Its just as weird as me.!!

Forgiveness

A tear rolled down, thoughts obscured
Reminiscence of the past, will the wounds cure?
Such is the wrath kismet bestowed
And you hear them intoning "let bygones be bygones"
For what will become of d soul you hurt
Will the pain be too much for the decrepit heart to hold up?
You entreat time to have mercy
For present today is not what you had forseen
You had trusted with time the pain would cease
That yesteryears wont sleuth your present with malice
That time would heal the deepest of wounds
That your lips might give in to smile as they should
That the tears will dry and heartbreaks replaced
The glumness the gloom that had usurped your face
But now as you lie, broken, frail
Waiting for the verdict of the sins you perpetrated
Wanting it all to be over nimbly and painfree

But more than anything else its "Forgiveness" that you seek!!

Anathema

In the darkness around, I grope for a face
In the rubbles dispersed, I try to retrace
The pinions make a noise, being hoary they fret
Whats gonna become of it all??, these are the thoughts that beset
A flash across and my eyes are pickled
In another flash the ruckus will be unbridled
I feign a sham, thgh ma stars are bleak
In a moment so decisive can i afford to be weak?
My heart flutters, i laugh at ma impuissance
I clamber to hold on with all d left conviction
Awaiting for aurora, after the eclipse
I wait for the anathema, for me to cease!!

Kirket: D Indian Way

My heart aches. The emotions that confront me aren’t alien but are willing. I feel lost, heart broken, betrayed, let down. These words might actually seem like a euphemism to my agony. And then again I know my hurt is warranted. I have every right to be mad and yell curses for tonight of all the nights; I wanted my belief to be salvaged and not bedraggled. India lost yet again another match and failed to deliver when they most needed to(story of their life…tell me about it). But the win was so desperately needed to clutch on the dwindling hope of millions that we still could win this tournament, that “yeh cup kahi nhi jayega”. But the world came crashing down the minute Yuvi gave away those 5runs in the last over, the moment we realized how bad Indian batting faired against the short balls those giants fusilladed on us, the moment that newbie Jadeja slogged on the crease as if he was Dravid part2 in becoming, the moment Yuvi got out and MSD came to bat instead of Yousuf and tons of such moments where we were once again let down by the dilatory Indian batting and how even scoring singles was looking no less a herculean task to them. But still many hearts refused to abandon hope, to forsake their warriors in the trying time and hoped for a miracle. Its funny how hopelessly can hope make us hope. They watched dolefully as their warriors lost the battle they so badly wanted them to win, to bring back to them what they thought was rightfully yours, the win, the glistening cup!!! On 14th (err..actually 15th¬ ) June 2009, Indian cricket team wrote another disappointing chapter in their cricket saga, the one that will take a valiant effort to be overshadowed.
Welcome to the despondent (beyond repair) heart of just ‘another’ cricket fan. I might not be manifested to call myself the most proficient “cricket buff” but I share with many across this nation, the brotherhood (or sisterhood or whatever) of ‘cricket hood’. The emotions the game is capable of begetting are phenomenal. Its power can unite the nation in a common wave of hysteria and frenzy, every pair of lips praying, chanting under their breath for their icon to do the miracle he is being deified for. The stats don’t really support the answering of his prayers though but that’s an altogether different ballgame. For time and again we have been let down by the team we have come to idolize but come another game and our idols are again glorified. The ‘Diva’ shines. He is all over the place, making it to headlines, giving candid interviews with an ease that would put to shame the best in the industry. His nonchalance is flummoxing. His every move a subject of pursuit for the ever eager reporters, his every save lauded and with every miss he is doggoned. A moment he is the savior and the next the nation is questioning his allegiance with the team and wondering if he is actually playing to win or has he sided with the ‘Devil’ himself. He is scrutinized for all he does. The delirium of the fans often shares border with insanity with a missed catch being termed as foul play on the part of the player and his house burnt down in one harebrained moment. Well such are the rules of game, and don’t we ‘love to hate it’ and ‘hate to love it’. We Indians are always their to cheer the team we root for so passionately but we wont miss a chance to kick their butts the moment their falter. We curse the Dhonis and the Jadejas for their lackadaisical performance. But then the compassionate heart of a cricket buff is quick to forgive and give it warriors another chance to get it right and so goes the vicious circle, of heart break followed by reckless burning of effigies, of smiles followed by triumphant celebrations.
Our love for the game is deep and passionate. Our love for the game is fickle and superficial. Which is it? Do Indians really love cricket? It is futile to generalise about an entire country – each individual has his own relationship with the game – but certain patterns of love and longing for cricket run through the country. And outside it. Non-resident Indians around the world pine for cricket as if their lover is an ocean away, and go to insane lengths to stay in touch. Cricket is often termed a religion in this nation of crores that bind the Tatas and the Thelawalas, the mantri and his santri, the senile and the juvenile. Though Hockey is the national game of India, it lost its pre-eminence due to the emergence of Cricket. It’s an emotion that transcends all barriors and connects the heart…bole to direct ‘Dil Se’ and you really don’t a telecom company for that, trust me on that. Many regard this game as the one of ‘d commoner’ considering them too high-toned to as much as even glance at it and I can’t help but pity their souls for they will never realize the cacoethes this game brings with it. The EUPHORIA surpasses anything any soul could have witnessed before and brings with it is what the heart of a buff yearns for and thrives on as for them; nothing could taste sweeter than the victory, an Indian win. For the world it might be just a game, for us Indians it’s like an obsession. And many a times our mind wander in the oblivion, thinking, dreamin…Will this obsession change ever? Cricket is already competing with more and more alternatives for a potential fan’s time. What is called the shortest form of the game takes up half a day. Can cricket retain its following as the years go by? Will Indians still have time for the game ten years from now? Reason says it won’t. But what does love know of reason?

Fundaas of Indian-English

The Indian version of English has been on a growth trajectory that has led to the evolution of what is for all practical purposes, a language of its own. A hybrid form of English stalks the land, flaunting its illegitimacy, brashness and popularity. Its terrain is an overploughed one, its IQ dangling between the primary and the geeky, its memory garangutan and capable of summoning words from centuries past, its survival instinct similar to that of the chameleon, acclimating with the locales to pander the Indian tastes: Hinglish here, Tamglish there.

The country's fascination for the language has caught up over the years but if it has resulted in English usage getting more communicative is still a question that might get answered by" I can Talk in English, I can Walk in English" and god knows what else. In Delhi and Panjab receptionists always have a "massage" for you which most guys find hard to accept without a baleful smirk. SMSes can't find its existence without the usage of this cocktail of language. But its the newspapers cliches that keeps Indian-English growing, its vocab accretion phenomenal, squeezing out non-existent meanings, dragging in reluctant Hindi words to serve as the morning's laugh inducing headline. And I often wonder what a "Firang" makes out of this heading:"FM maange more!!". Such nuisances have Hindi as the backdrop but borrow heavily and frequently from English to buttress their language and also as a password in elite gatherings which many of us have witnessed with one mausa or distant kin from Jhumritaliya doing what ever it takes to prove their expertise over the language of "So-fis-tication" and ending up making a travesty out of it.

Bollywood again has contributed benevolently in extending the scope of the Indianized English. Spoofs of the language have found immense potential to tickle the funny bones of the viewers and in the end added new vocabularies which have easily segued into everyday usage, be it then Ajit's argot or famous one-liners like" Mera Bad Luck hi Kharaab hai" and so on.
Classifieds are written so fluently and captivatingly in broken English and Indian hearts are left chanting "Yeh Dil Maange More!! or the corny ICICI adline:'No chinta, sirf money'. Analyzing the roadside advertisements can turn a mundane ride into an awe-inspiring one with advertised services like ' Great care of all sarts of diseases without medicines...........If you are overcomed by jaadu, bhoot and/or palit' and quacks assuring solutions to all S** Problems and Boost to Great S** drive wid one medicine called 'Vigoura' with a 'shake well before use' instruction.:)

Websites like Shaadi.com and Bharatmatrimony.com are a haven for lonely hearts. The classified trying to win over women bring out the best in practitioners of Indian-English for they are burdened with not just of putting together a sentence-an arduous task for most of them- but they have to be humorous and romantic and hip to boot which leaves their lonely hearts quite flabbergasted. Here is how one lonely heart tried to seek a fe-male
Hello viewers, my name is Hardik, I am single and without a female. If any one want to marrie me u can visit to my home. I am not good education but I working all field in Bangalroe..if u like me u welcome to my heart.
All I pray is there's enough space there. Here is another one which I had to share coz it left me in a laughing fit...
I want one girl who love me or my mother. She love me heartly or she have a frank skin color 'normal' nor a black or whitey. I think the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful but I am not a handsome boy but my mom says that I am a good boy. My father already expired. I am 'Aeklauta'. The choice is your.
Now I am wondering if it yours' or your's? But using the wisdom of a man who wants a 'frank skin normal' colored lady, he decided to go for the safe third option that is to drop the possesive 's' and stick to your. At least he wouldn't lose a wife for a sake of anything but a misplaced apostrophe.

The English does not easily segue into the Hindi lines, as we see in the party number. But who cares? The English makes known the movie's ambition and the viewer in the front row gets to see a sexy number- cleavage,legs and all that. He doesnot complain. Why on earth shoud he? So when the lady sings 'Let's party tonight', none of them thinks that the movie is going to take a political turn and a new party is going to be launched to counter the Samajwadi party in UP.
Indian-English, for all our contempt, is set to unifying thread across the nation. In hoardings, in ads and movies, Indian-English is already, without doubt the accepted form. With its own bizarre grammar, spellings and vocabulary, Indian English has defeated the Queen's English in a centuries-long battle. The intrusion or acceptance of Hinglish is now nationalized mainly due to the assumption that the ipod generation prefers to 'cut the crap' and go straight to the heart in local lingo which is again a forensic topic.

Today

I cannot predict the future
nor can I change the Past
I have just my today
I must treat it as ma last
I must use the moment wisely
for soon it will pass away
And be lost to me forever
as part of yesterday

Seven things that scare you:

1. A lizard
2. Psychos on power trip
3. Goons with guns
4. People that have no brain just don’t know what they r missing
5. Hurting yourself then trying to do the same thing again without hurting yourself
6. Not having Chocolate
7. Not being scared at times

Seven things you like the most:

1. Chocolate
2. Mates when they aint bein cunts
3. Ma Laptop
4. Sketching/drawing
5. Traveling
6. Music couldn’t live without it
7. Internet

Seven important things in your room now:

1. Ma laptop
2. Ma Phone
3. Ma Cushy Bed
4. Ma Wall
5. Clothes:P
6. Toiletries;)
7. Floor, where you can see it

Seven random facts about you:

1. I’m a Dreamer
2. M a pet person
3. I’m gonna rock this world someday
4. Ma B-day is 12/09/87
5. M a gal...:)
6. M listening to "schotty doesn't know rght nw:P
7. M sleepy rght nw:)

Seven things you plan to do before you die:

1. Travel the world
2. Go into space
3. Not die/Kill Yamdoot
4. develop "MORPH"..nano rules:P
5. Live in a penthouse
6. Get backstage to a huge gig
7. Make a difference

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:

1. Eyes
2. Personality
3. Hair
4. Sense of humour/Wit
5. Individuality
6. Passion
7. Everything else

Seven things you say the most:

1. "Haan Kya"
2. "Ek Chaped Padegi"
3. "Whatever"
4. "Hao"
5. "Bakwaas Mat kar"
6. "Maar Khayega/Pit Jayega"
7. "Main Bahut cute sweet si ladki hoon:P”


Seven favorite drinks:

1. Golgappe ka Paani:)
2. Chocolate milkshake
3. Hot Coffee
4. Cold Coffee
5. Tang:P
6. Aam Rass
7. Nimbu Paani

Seven memorable kiddy shows you used to watch as a kid:

1. Tom and Jerry
2. Talespins
3. Duck Tales
4. Bewitched
5. Gummy Bears
6. Alladin
7. Tarang

yeh Dilli Hai mere Yaar!!!

"Kaun jaye Ghalib, Dilli ki galiyan chhor ke."

Mirza Ghalib

Delhi as an immortal city because for the more than a thousand years of its continuous existence, this city has witnessed changes as no other part in the world but has stayed put and moved ahead with survival and development. Delhi, the capital of India, a city which was destroyed seven times but rose from its ashes like a phoenix and emerged stronger every time.

The city is as full of surprises as a Pandora Box. One can never expect the obvious out of it. You may suddenly find a ruined arch many hundred years old beside a recently-built bungalow, or see the reflection of a high-rise in the waters of an ancient step well. We all have to discover Delhi for ourselves for the city has a unique way of presenting itself to each one. For a tourist or someone not familiar with the intricacies and delicacies the city has to offer, the city might be a just a mirage and he might need to dig in deep to get to its heart. The city exudes an aura that is unparalleled and its charm hard to resist. It is an image of prosperity, of power, of fusion of culture, an economic power and an epitome of success and growth. It is from here the country runs. Most of the major national decisions, issues, and their solutions find their origin here. Here live the most influential, powerful, and important people of the country. The culture diversity the city offers is overwhelming. It is here you find people from all walks of life, religion, caste coexisting. On first impressions, DELHI, with its jam-packed streets, tower blocks and temples, forts, mosques and colonial mansions, can be both disorienting and fascinating. It certainly takes a while to find one’s feet, as one attempts to weave a path through buses, trucks, nippy cars, mopeds, rickshaws, cows, bullock carts, hand-pulled trolleys and even the occasional elephant being ridden along with the flow of traffic. One will find unlikely juxtapositions are everywhere you look: suit-and-tie businessmen rub shoulders with traditionally dressed orthodox Hindus and Muslims; groups of young Delhi-wallahs pile into glitzy bars and discos while turbaned snake charmers tease hypnotizing moans out of curved pipes; pundits pontificate while sadhus smoke their chillums; and ragged beggars clutching dusty children plead for a little help towards a meal.

Delhi's daunting scale becomes more manageable as you start to appreciate that, geographically as well as historically, it consists of seven successive cities, with British-built New Delhi making an eighth. Home to a crore of people (ten million, that is), it's big and, due partly to a tremendous economic boom, it's growing, but tucked away inside its modern suburbs and developments you'll stumble across tombs, temples and ruins that date back centuries; in some cases, the remains of whole cities from the distant past sit happily amid homes and highways built in the last decade or two, if that. The result is a city full of fascinating nooks and crannies that you could happily spend weeks or even months exploring.

Delhi, this is my city. I have grown up here, received my lessons in life in this city. The city has taught me how to co-exist with my neighbours, with nature, the birds and the cows as we all jostle together for our spaces. The city has taught me to appreciate music, food, arts, and the smell of mud as it begins to rain. I see the ruins of century old buildings around me and I learn that even the great kings and empires crumble to dust and die never mind you and me. I thrive in the rich colours and traditions of this city, the city teaches me co-existence, it teaches me that there is enough space under the sky for us to live and let live. The city teaches me not to be possessive, it lets me go when I get too restless and I promptly come back to it all excited to tell her about places far and beyond. She then sits me down and tells me how centuries back someone had come to her from that far away land and tells me stories of great battles fought, stories of valor and courage, stories of deceit... Just when I thought that I knew all that was to be known about Delhi she opens another chapter of herself to me. It’s almost like when I was in Class Two, I thought I had mastered math by learning to add and subtract! Delhi teaches me to keep myself warm in winter and forces me to stay warm in summer in spite of my best efforts. In those hot summer months when I can't sleep because of the heat I just come out and stand on my balcony and throw up my hands and say I give up and Delhi replies with the monsoon. She deluges me in a torrent of water, washes the trees clean - and even the street dogs look clean and cared for.

In retrospect, Delhi has lost its virginity, and is losing the ‘Dil’ it was symbolic for. Delhi is an easy city to caricature – bleak, dirty, loud, and crowded. And it is certainly all that. But reality is simultaneously substantially more mundane, and textured. Its history is intriguing, but sadly almost entirely taken over by the Government, paan-stained to beyond death - the Indian equivalent of airbrushing. The hypocrisy is terrible - women in purdah one moment, sex with a grand daughter the next. A city bereft of culture; abused by its own people. As the seat of power for centuries, Delhi is a bitch, accommodating only those who are willing to pay the price she demands. Like a graceful nautch girl, she has - and history is witness - turned away those who failed to meet her demands. But still it is a city that carries the hopes and aspirations of people living in it, the location of deaths, marriages, jobs, cars, monuments, history, politics, money, and more. One can take respite, if so is needed, in the beauty of some of its monuments, sometimes in just its familiarity, in its 'traditions' and 'landmarks', even in its oppressive heat, food, conversation, and intimacy of friends and family, among other things.

It is right that dilli dil waloon ki hai but in the other sense it would be right that `abhi dilli door hai`

Who Moved my Parking SPACE???

The next World War won't be over the nuclear weapons or the who is the Big Daddy of the world or country borders or even as some environmentalists tend to admonish, over water. It should not be much of a storm if the next major global aggression will be over parking space.

A free parking space is nothing but a luxury only few get to savor in the recent times. The moment you take the car out of your home, phew..., you are welcomed into an alien space of rows of cars towing after one another, on the highway, in the side lane, by the mall, by the chat wala!! The most critical thing boggling a driver's mind these days ain't the traffic on the road or the reckless driving, its how the hell m gonna park ma drive machine and move about doing ma chores. And it just gets worse if u hail from a metro. The roads get slimmer than a model's waste line and the no. of cars driving on it increase at the rate the population of India grows. Its a mad mad world out there. The race for car parking supersedes the F1 with drivers zooming around in the dungy lanes just to find that perfect spot to park. People literally stalk near the parking lot on the by-passers and plunge like a starved tiger the moment they hear another car roar. Its the survival of the fastest in its utmost essence. But since Nanos continue to flood the market, strategies need to be put in place to control the road rage or rather parking rage- which, apparently is a world wide phenomenon now, transcending all borders. And this rage grows exponentially with the presence of cold blooded terrorist to be found on almost all rows, the Parking Attendant. Just when one pumps a fist in the air on his success at finding himself a spot to park, he emerges, almost magically from thin air and speaks with a almost chilly voice, " Dude!! You can't Mark Here". And the reasons for this harassment deepens its mystery with each such call and you may wonder forever..Why ME:(?? coz arguing with this terrorist ain't a option you have. The city one lives in seems to be flooded with "No parking" signs and it really makes one wonder " Is the earth really shrinking..?" With the widespread presence of these hoardings, the advertising potential they provide is unfathomable. It shouldn't be long before these signs are coupled with ad like "No Parking here. But do park in your money in our mutual funds". And who said creativity really needs make sense.:)

Here are some Dilbert one liners...


1. I say no to alcohol,
It just doesn't listen.

2. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way
You're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..

7. Born free,
Taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory,
Some just don't have film..

9. Life is unsure;
Always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile,
It makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground,
You'll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses,
They are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer...
What I can't stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot.
The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech,
Why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind,
Are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush,
Leave work at noon!

20. If you can't convince them,
Confuse them.

21. It's not the fall that kills you.
It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes,
So, I made your horn louder!

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.

24. The cigarette does the smoking,
You are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week.

26. Whenever I find the key to success,
Someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human,
To forgive is not a company policy.

28. The road to success....
Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems,
But, if you think again, neither does milk.

30. In order to get a loan,
You first need to prove that you don't need it.

31.If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.

32. I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

33. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

34.Never try to drown your troubles... Especially if he can swim.

35. Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

36. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.

37. By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong.

38. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

39.There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.

40.An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

41.When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

42. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

43.They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.

For thoz of u whu dunt knw me.....gud enuf...u might nt b really familiar wid ma canine love...well...i m a proud owner of a lhasa apso.. n gawd..dnt i love her....shes the sweetest n d mst loveliest n d most beautiful(m shrt of adjectives) thing in d wrld...i mean if i cud...thn i wud...jst giv abt nethin 4her...coz evrytm i luk into her mystic eyes...i jst cnt help bt fall in love wid her agn...i knw m soundin lyk one love sick puppy maself...bt trust me...if u wer evr privileged enuf to have any of the pets arnd u..u wil knw..hw thr lil acts of innocence entrap u n u jst cnt get enuf of it..i remember whn i first set ma eyes on ma baby(i had dogs b4 tht too..bt thy wernt exclusively mine..had 2bloody share them wid ma cousins..bt this baby ws ol mine) ..she ws lyk jst ma hand big..n she ws soo soft n soo cute n evrythin abt her jst had cuteness stamped all over..n i jst cudnt help bt bask in her innocence..her totterin walk..her slurps...her tingling licks....gosh i jst cnt stp ravin abt her(ma frnds whu hav been the patient listeners of ma endless talks abt her wud tell u better:P)...shes jst d beshtest...i jst miss her a lot here....shes one thing i really look forward 2 whn i get bck home...n i knw...hw eagerly she awaits me..coz she cn smell me evn miles away...n i cn actually feel her happiness when she meets me...shes all jumpy n wagin her tail....mann...shes a doll...m jst soo much in love...shes ma baby...sum1 i really cherish 4m all ma heart.....n i jst sumhw..cn see her in all the animals arnd..be it a squirrel or a langoor...hehe...who said love cnt b blind...wel..at tymz...i find it pretty relaxin to jst get her in ma lap..n stroke her hair...n jst caress her...well...this one really gt me helples...wht cn i really doo??[:P]

Dumb Just Got Dumber:)!!!

Dumb jst gt dumber!!
The idiot box jst gt idiotic…I dunnw whts up wid d tv producers…n wht xactly thy gt in mind whn makin thoz soaps tht never end(hw u wish ur dear Dove ws lyk tht..:P)..those reality shws which r evn more pathetic thn d saas-bahu sagas…d news channel who gt in them to sensationalize a haircut by aamir…n telecast it 4 days to come…pheew…god save ma mom n ur mom..n their moms(wonder y so many moms gt victimized:P)…n all ur near n dear ones…bitten bt the tv bug…coz thr future is dark….really dark…darker thn ur tv screen….
The reason y m writin abt ol this is…nt the recent Mumbai terror strikes(gosh!!tht ws sad n heartbreakin)..or the financial meltdown..or the unremitting indo-pak issue..sittin on a nuclear bomb..or whatever blah blah u cud b thinkin…well..while jst surfin thru sum of the channels..which m still sane enuf to watch I accidentally stumbled upon(shhh…ma bad luck:S)..one of the talk shows…GTalk(nt the chat thing yaa…it stands for I think..girl talk:P..) on MTv…n mann…wasn’t I amazed…the two hot chicks hosting the shw wer ex-roadies..Shambhavi and Anmol...n cant say much abt shambhavi bt I had dis notion tht anmol cud b a babe…bt she had sum substance 2her(primarily coz she ws the only bimbo who knew who our president ws amongst the roadies:P and partly coz we share Punjabi..funjabi jeans..oops..genes..lol)…but butttt…buuutttt……hw wrng I ws…well..they wer chattin on the trend of PDA wid d youngistaan of india..n the dehati views thy wer givin really drove me nuts..i really hate hypocrites…n whn thoz jumbo dumbos…dressed as skimpily as d cloth cud allow(I really gt nthin against tht)…wer tryin to act all sati savitry..n blamin evry damn couple 4bein loud n all…I ws lyk..wtf…go get a lyf…I mean hw cud thy, of all the ppl…have issues on ppl makin out in discs or pubs..m nt a gr8 fan of pda n I loathe ppl gng overboard shwin their love on the streets…in d café..or sum family places…bt discs…wtf..who really cares…I realized tht day..i havnt seen all of the gurl bimboness(dunnw if its actually a word;),,bt whtever)..seriously yaa..spare the care…

Gosh..m lucky to b away 4m dis creepy monster..m happy tht ma coll admin had d sanity left to discourage tv viewership…n I jst hope…tht sumday…maybb one bright sunny morning…the television will once again be revolutionized….for bettr…

Dostana on d rocks!!

“Dostana”, thts d new lingo to refer to gayism. D muvie seems to hav struck quite a chord wid da youth of the nation..lol..n m sure evry individual mst b havin a spicy “dostana” to tell…..n its kinda hard to distinguish d true from d false..
D muvie really rockd…rght 4m d sets to d songs to d lame jokes…n started a new wave of discussion(in open, d behind d scenes talks wer lyk soo old)…gayism…its interpretation, its stand, its acceptance n blah blahh which m nt really intrstd in discussin here..
Comin bck to ma story….bck in school… a shy guy…too lean to stand..too girly to act…would b victimized n termed “GAY”..of course behind his bck(relallyyy???lol..technically…)one such guy happened 2b in our grp..d way he talked…walked..smiled…acted…had GAY written over it…in big bold letters…n he ws our bakra for all the lame jokes we cracked…bck thn terming sum1 gay ws more lyk a prank thn actually a reflection of his sexuality…I happened to meet him jst a month bck…n boy!!!...had he changed..no…he ws stil d same old “gay”…oops…guy:P….d jokes jst gt heavier…d talks more boisterous….bt sumthin ws different….it ws his attitude…nw he flamboyantly smiled at d jokes.. laughed wid us on himself…n trapped evry guy in a relationship wid him..lol..smart move…it really did shut sum of d mouths…bt thn…we wer bck…laughin our way….dng d same old crap we r gud at….nthin..:P

8weeks @ SaMsUng:D:D

12th May,2008...tht ws the day i set my foot in the SISC centre,noida. Mesmerised by the aura of enterin the "CorPorate World" I was just like a little child, soakin in evry detail, anxious about the days to come.

I still remember cleary how out of place i felt on my first day at work. I felt like a child trapped in the grown up world. The feelin was a mix of anxiety,curiousity, fear, something very difficult to apprehend. But back in my mind I never ever dreamt of making friends, having masti. I mellowed my hyper self, and thought maybe thats how the professional life I have dreamt all along about, looks like, UP CLOSE and PERSONAL. And trust me it wasn't a comforting thought. I remember telling my mom that day, I might not do a 9-5 job afterall, its soo dull and monotonous. She was stumped coz as far as I could remember, thats what I always told her I wanted to do.

With all these doubts and anxieties stil hobbling in ma mind, I started my intern. Well, I was assigned a mentor(due to censorship issues I refrain myself from divulging more about him:D)and was asked to luk up the net and do some self study. I happily obliged coz that gave me a brilliant chance to do tym pass on net. Little did I know how boring that would turn.:P.Finally one of the guys from my department, whom I initially presumed to be chinese although, he is from guwahti, came up to me and talked. His name is Kamal Boro, lolz, I know a funny name, and let me tell u he is an equally idiotic guy, but sometimes hes fun to hang around wid(don't mind yaa).He is the most vella banda of samsung, koi kaam nhi hai iske paas!!Tp karana ho cafeteria mein to he is evrready, n iski office mein jo image hai...uske baare mein to main kya hi kahu:P:P,bt hes a nice buddy to have..ulti helpful n total gapodi:P!!So as I was saying, I finally started interacting with people, who initially were no less than aliens to me I could never dream of gelling with. How wrong can We be??
What followed was talks with "almost everyone" in my department and well to my surprise, they didnt bite or kil me.lol..infact I started enjoyin my office hours. I could talk with ease with evry1, be it Garima(shes the sweetest), leela(who reminds me of my friends mom), moses(gosh his name is soo tough), rashmi(a cuteheart),nitin patney..wht do i say abt him, shubra(independent women of today) and more.Then came the most fun part of my Intern...my staff bus, to catch which I used to get up at 6..lolz...funny corporate timings. My first few days in the bus were quite dull which I passed either listening to my songs or catching a quick nap. Well I regret y i wasted thoz days, coz I was later enlightened ,bus ride cudnt hav been more fun, . They were literally the best moments of my day in the past two months. The people in my bus are just all bindaas..total freaks jst like me..lolz...its ma last week at office and i knw it as a fact that of al the things, its the bus and its ppl tht m gonna miss the most..:(:(..m olready feelin sad abt tht...newyz...so..it happened..my earphones slipped from my ears and so i heard the conversation going on in the bus. A guys wid red hair(lolz,details to follow soon) was enactin sumthin. Its then I realised the whole bus was busy playing dumb charades, n sumhw I jst ended up tellin one of the movies being enacted. Thinking I jst helped them with a muvie, evrybdy readily asked me to join them. From then on there was no looking back. What followed were some rigorous, passionate sessions of playing dumb charades.A guy named alok(evn thgh he is married, it doesnt reflect on his face..lolzz.he is a kid at heart and hes my stop mate, we talk crap daily n do some weird mornin walk too:D) came up with huge databased sheets of movie names. I saw the most bizzare movie collection ever with movies like "efter bryluppet" to "sookhe naale ki tairti laash" being enacted with such enthusiasm as never before. It was like the route 11 bus was bit by the dumb charade syndrome. Another unique person in our bus, mr faris or lovingly called pharizzz changed his stop so he could enjoi sum more precious moments of the game, n he can never tire from askin u sum freak IQ questns,:P, btw he is also the moral police of our bus.I cant help but smile thinking about the antique pieces our bus is filled with. Our vineeta mam, uff dimmag bhakshi, who is in the hunt to find her mr perfect(lol), praaven aka pka,whoz a total gapodi lyk me, kuch bhi bakwaas karwaa lo, he cn jst keep on blabbering without tirin n i end up bein the only one laughin at his lame jokes.., neha mam with her ever loud eye language(mind u she scare the hell out of u with her eye gestures) n jst recently i gotta knw she has been wrkin evr since forver,she is vivacious and lively.., mr SABU...lolz...,aapka abhijeet hehe, ajeet...oops ajit, he has got a very cute infectious smile..lolz(i nvr told u tht)...n i sumhw feel so tempted to trouble him be it with my crap smses or idiotic mails or jst pullin his leg but he is a total shareef guy, jst lyk me...lolz...so u cn imagine hw shareef he wud b,n he has gt his funny bone jst in place, mr manish, the red haired guy, ankit jinki baatein khatam hi nhi hoti, he has a capaity to talk n mak ppl listen to him n b4 crackin a joke he wil nvr forget to say," main ek baat batata hun, hasna mat..n he wil burst into a laughing fit".

Disclaimer: heartiest apologies if I forgot to mention about sum1:(

N how could I forget my next desk punjabi neighbour, Mr gaurav. He is cute, photo mein style maarne ka shauk ahi(thts ma personal observation), ulti friendly n he helped me in debuggin ma code many a tymz, n yeah,,he loves jannat songs lyk nethin, he listens to them al day along..lolz..n he tries n act busy evn whn hes nt..

Thats hw I met some of the most wonderful people I hav evr knwn, serendipitously. N I got sum of most fun n cherished n memorable memories...n i evn learnt hw to play cows n bulls...lolz....m gonna terribly miss thoz fun filled moments, the constant leg pullin of vineeta mam, bina baat pe hasna, talkin absurd nonsense, being treated lyk a kid, the metrowalk outin with ajit and praveen n our ride in auto bck home,the horrible indiana jones movie wid kamal, in which he actually slept and evn snored...lolz..the kachoris of hanuman mandir..these small moments r wht made me the happiest, this is wht m gonna miss, all of it...this was more enrichin learnin experince thn i antcipated and m gonna tak bck with me more than i thght I will...m gonna tak bck some beautiful memories!!!!

its true!!

sittin on ma desk, ma thghts ponder
the silence arnd make the moments last longer
the time seems frozen so does the pain
its gettin harder to breathe, tougher to feign
puppeted ma ways in the hands of destiny
now,i wanna fly, i wanna break free
mould the ways, ressurect ma soul
breathe out the pain, aim 4da goal
be the queen, the wrld wil b at my feet
chose to whine, n i was hurt 4bein me

PeopLe alWayz Leave

This is one of my favorite,realistic and hard hitting one-liners. Heard it in one of the Tv shows and fell in love instantly. And ironically its true form was shown to me pretty quick. People alwayz leave..thts one truth of life u cant ignore howevr if and buts u mght invent 4ur convenience. Its fate who comes in ur lyf, luck 4who stays and destiny who gets to go..or who chooses to leave.Someone who mght mean your life in one timeline mght not evn be a part of it in the other.Such is the change life exhibits...thats wht LYF is.. and it always fascinates me how people go from loving someone to fault finders to hating and to absolutely nothin...tricky haan!!

But whatever happens...one should not quit loving for the fear of losing, living for the fear of dying, smiling for the fear of crying...lyfs got a creepy way to balance it all...n we mght nvr understand hw....but consider urself lucky for the people who entered ur lyf, for the happy moments they gave u...coz when u wer smiling someone else world's was being ripped apart...n u nvr knw whn u will change places...people mght leave bt thy they wil giv u memories worth a life tym..people mght change but they were ur happiness once..so whenever u r low...whenvr u feel defeated and abandoned and lonely..jst think abt tht happiness...those rosy memories when the sun cudnt have shone ny brighter, the sky cudnt hav been more clearer, the air more cooler, the heart more merrier, n ur lyf ...nthin short bt PERFECT.....n jst smile on the fact u wer lucky enuf to hav all that........

n trust me when I say...not evry1 cudnt have been luckier the way u wud have been....................njoi ur uniqueness...:):)

Let Go...Move ON

Life...always plays its tricks on u..catches u least unaware...Their r tymz whn one feels can it get worse than this n thts whn u r hit with another blow on ur face. U may take ur pick from their, brood over whats gng wrng, hw unfair life is to u, torment ursefl with the repeated questions..WHY ME?? or just take a healthy look at the situation, take it in your stride, make the best you can of it n jst MOVE ON. I knw its better said than done. I maself m gud at preaching bt whn it actually comes to putting it in practice, i cudnt get worse. Its so hard to nt feel hurt when the people closest to u r on the giving end, its so hard to let go of something you have always cherished and nurtured and loved with every single breath of yours. But look at it from this side, if those ppl actually didnt mattered or cared for u, would they b holding the place they hold in your life? Would a single small act of theirs had the power to hurt u the way u r being hurt now? The answer cant be nything but a negative. So y hurt yourself over that. Y let the pain kill you deep within when practically no1 else would be aware of wht u r gng thru. So save urself the trouble and others the botheration, pack ur emotions n throw thm dwn the gutter. Just live for the moment n let others njoi their lives like the way you think you deserve to, n take whatever comes your way with a broad smile and a clear heart, coz grudges cause nothin but pain. Past is what is gone and if pondered upon will tarnish your present and future.

so ppl, i think...its tym to MOVE ON.........

Confused......

Wht is tht I m feelin?

Wht is tht I wanna feel?

Wht is thts happenin arnd?

Wht is tht I wanna happen?

Is it LUV tht I m feelin…

Or is it d want 2 b close 2 U??

Luv hurts thts true.. but its makin me happy

Thts the truth 2!!

I m feelin dreamy lost in my world,

Is it 4 true or am I being DUMB!!

When thghts get hard 2 interpret,

When choices r tough its hard 2 select.

Shud I let d feelings flow OR

Shud I bind my heart,

Shud I let LUV grow OR

Shud I stop b4 it starts??

But love doesn’t knw how 2 end or begin,

If its thr, its thr U cant force anything!!

Y R there so many questions evn b4 things fall in place?

Y cant things work out on thr own in silence n peace??

Y does d mind need 2 think abt all d pros n cons?

Y cant we jst get wht our heart dreams??

Y was dis WHY evr invented?

Y cant d truth jst b tht I LOVE U?????????

Y do I need 2 evn think beyond tht??