Who Moved my Parking SPACE???

The next World War won't be over the nuclear weapons or the who is the Big Daddy of the world or country borders or even as some environmentalists tend to admonish, over water. It should not be much of a storm if the next major global aggression will be over parking space.

A free parking space is nothing but a luxury only few get to savor in the recent times. The moment you take the car out of your home, phew..., you are welcomed into an alien space of rows of cars towing after one another, on the highway, in the side lane, by the mall, by the chat wala!! The most critical thing boggling a driver's mind these days ain't the traffic on the road or the reckless driving, its how the hell m gonna park ma drive machine and move about doing ma chores. And it just gets worse if u hail from a metro. The roads get slimmer than a model's waste line and the no. of cars driving on it increase at the rate the population of India grows. Its a mad mad world out there. The race for car parking supersedes the F1 with drivers zooming around in the dungy lanes just to find that perfect spot to park. People literally stalk near the parking lot on the by-passers and plunge like a starved tiger the moment they hear another car roar. Its the survival of the fastest in its utmost essence. But since Nanos continue to flood the market, strategies need to be put in place to control the road rage or rather parking rage- which, apparently is a world wide phenomenon now, transcending all borders. And this rage grows exponentially with the presence of cold blooded terrorist to be found on almost all rows, the Parking Attendant. Just when one pumps a fist in the air on his success at finding himself a spot to park, he emerges, almost magically from thin air and speaks with a almost chilly voice, " Dude!! You can't Mark Here". And the reasons for this harassment deepens its mystery with each such call and you may wonder forever..Why ME:(?? coz arguing with this terrorist ain't a option you have. The city one lives in seems to be flooded with "No parking" signs and it really makes one wonder " Is the earth really shrinking..?" With the widespread presence of these hoardings, the advertising potential they provide is unfathomable. It shouldn't be long before these signs are coupled with ad like "No Parking here. But do park in your money in our mutual funds". And who said creativity really needs make sense.:)

Here are some Dilbert one liners...


1. I say no to alcohol,
It just doesn't listen.

2. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way
You're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..

7. Born free,
Taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory,
Some just don't have film..

9. Life is unsure;
Always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile,
It makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground,
You'll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses,
They are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer...
What I can't stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot.
The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech,
Why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind,
Are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush,
Leave work at noon!

20. If you can't convince them,
Confuse them.

21. It's not the fall that kills you.
It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes,
So, I made your horn louder!

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.

24. The cigarette does the smoking,
You are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week.

26. Whenever I find the key to success,
Someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human,
To forgive is not a company policy.

28. The road to success....
Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems,
But, if you think again, neither does milk.

30. In order to get a loan,
You first need to prove that you don't need it.

31.If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.

32. I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

33. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

34.Never try to drown your troubles... Especially if he can swim.

35. Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

36. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.

37. By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong.

38. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

39.There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.

40.An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

41.When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

42. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

43.They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.

For thoz of u whu dunt knw me.....gud enuf...u might nt b really familiar wid ma canine love...well...i m a proud owner of a lhasa apso.. n gawd..dnt i love her....shes the sweetest n d mst loveliest n d most beautiful(m shrt of adjectives) thing in d wrld...i mean if i cud...thn i wud...jst giv abt nethin 4her...coz evrytm i luk into her mystic eyes...i jst cnt help bt fall in love wid her agn...i knw m soundin lyk one love sick puppy maself...bt trust me...if u wer evr privileged enuf to have any of the pets arnd u..u wil knw..hw thr lil acts of innocence entrap u n u jst cnt get enuf of it..i remember whn i first set ma eyes on ma baby(i had dogs b4 tht too..bt thy wernt exclusively mine..had 2bloody share them wid ma cousins..bt this baby ws ol mine) ..she ws lyk jst ma hand big..n she ws soo soft n soo cute n evrythin abt her jst had cuteness stamped all over..n i jst cudnt help bt bask in her innocence..her totterin walk..her slurps...her tingling licks....gosh i jst cnt stp ravin abt her(ma frnds whu hav been the patient listeners of ma endless talks abt her wud tell u better:P)...shes jst d beshtest...i jst miss her a lot here....shes one thing i really look forward 2 whn i get bck home...n i knw...hw eagerly she awaits me..coz she cn smell me evn miles away...n i cn actually feel her happiness when she meets me...shes all jumpy n wagin her tail....mann...shes a doll...m jst soo much in love...shes ma baby...sum1 i really cherish 4m all ma heart.....n i jst sumhw..cn see her in all the animals arnd..be it a squirrel or a langoor...hehe...who said love cnt b blind...wel..at tymz...i find it pretty relaxin to jst get her in ma lap..n stroke her hair...n jst caress her...well...this one really gt me helples...wht cn i really doo??[:P]

Dumb Just Got Dumber:)!!!

Dumb jst gt dumber!!
The idiot box jst gt idiotic…I dunnw whts up wid d tv producers…n wht xactly thy gt in mind whn makin thoz soaps tht never end(hw u wish ur dear Dove ws lyk tht..:P)..those reality shws which r evn more pathetic thn d saas-bahu sagas…d news channel who gt in them to sensationalize a haircut by aamir…n telecast it 4 days to come…pheew…god save ma mom n ur mom..n their moms(wonder y so many moms gt victimized:P)…n all ur near n dear ones…bitten bt the tv bug…coz thr future is dark….really dark…darker thn ur tv screen….
The reason y m writin abt ol this is…nt the recent Mumbai terror strikes(gosh!!tht ws sad n heartbreakin)..or the financial meltdown..or the unremitting indo-pak issue..sittin on a nuclear bomb..or whatever blah blah u cud b thinkin…well..while jst surfin thru sum of the channels..which m still sane enuf to watch I accidentally stumbled upon(shhh…ma bad luck:S)..one of the talk shows…GTalk(nt the chat thing yaa…it stands for I think..girl talk:P..) on MTv…n mann…wasn’t I amazed…the two hot chicks hosting the shw wer ex-roadies..Shambhavi and Anmol...n cant say much abt shambhavi bt I had dis notion tht anmol cud b a babe…bt she had sum substance 2her(primarily coz she ws the only bimbo who knew who our president ws amongst the roadies:P and partly coz we share Punjabi..funjabi jeans..oops..genes..lol)…but butttt…buuutttt……hw wrng I ws…well..they wer chattin on the trend of PDA wid d youngistaan of india..n the dehati views thy wer givin really drove me nuts..i really hate hypocrites…n whn thoz jumbo dumbos…dressed as skimpily as d cloth cud allow(I really gt nthin against tht)…wer tryin to act all sati savitry..n blamin evry damn couple 4bein loud n all…I ws lyk..wtf…go get a lyf…I mean hw cud thy, of all the ppl…have issues on ppl makin out in discs or pubs..m nt a gr8 fan of pda n I loathe ppl gng overboard shwin their love on the streets…in d café..or sum family places…bt discs…wtf..who really cares…I realized tht day..i havnt seen all of the gurl bimboness(dunnw if its actually a word;),,bt whtever)..seriously yaa..spare the care…

Gosh..m lucky to b away 4m dis creepy monster..m happy tht ma coll admin had d sanity left to discourage tv viewership…n I jst hope…tht sumday…maybb one bright sunny morning…the television will once again be revolutionized….for bettr…

Dostana on d rocks!!

“Dostana”, thts d new lingo to refer to gayism. D muvie seems to hav struck quite a chord wid da youth of the nation..lol..n m sure evry individual mst b havin a spicy “dostana” to tell…..n its kinda hard to distinguish d true from d false..
D muvie really rockd…rght 4m d sets to d songs to d lame jokes…n started a new wave of discussion(in open, d behind d scenes talks wer lyk soo old)…gayism…its interpretation, its stand, its acceptance n blah blahh which m nt really intrstd in discussin here..
Comin bck to ma story….bck in school… a shy guy…too lean to stand..too girly to act…would b victimized n termed “GAY”..of course behind his bck(relallyyy???lol..technically…)one such guy happened 2b in our grp..d way he talked…walked..smiled…acted…had GAY written over it…in big bold letters…n he ws our bakra for all the lame jokes we cracked…bck thn terming sum1 gay ws more lyk a prank thn actually a reflection of his sexuality…I happened to meet him jst a month bck…n boy!!!...had he changed..no…he ws stil d same old “gay”…oops…guy:P….d jokes jst gt heavier…d talks more boisterous….bt sumthin ws different….it ws his attitude…nw he flamboyantly smiled at d jokes.. laughed wid us on himself…n trapped evry guy in a relationship wid him..lol..smart move…it really did shut sum of d mouths…bt thn…we wer bck…laughin our way….dng d same old crap we r gud at….nthin..:P

8weeks @ SaMsUng:D:D

12th May,2008...tht ws the day i set my foot in the SISC centre,noida. Mesmerised by the aura of enterin the "CorPorate World" I was just like a little child, soakin in evry detail, anxious about the days to come.

I still remember cleary how out of place i felt on my first day at work. I felt like a child trapped in the grown up world. The feelin was a mix of anxiety,curiousity, fear, something very difficult to apprehend. But back in my mind I never ever dreamt of making friends, having masti. I mellowed my hyper self, and thought maybe thats how the professional life I have dreamt all along about, looks like, UP CLOSE and PERSONAL. And trust me it wasn't a comforting thought. I remember telling my mom that day, I might not do a 9-5 job afterall, its soo dull and monotonous. She was stumped coz as far as I could remember, thats what I always told her I wanted to do.

With all these doubts and anxieties stil hobbling in ma mind, I started my intern. Well, I was assigned a mentor(due to censorship issues I refrain myself from divulging more about him:D)and was asked to luk up the net and do some self study. I happily obliged coz that gave me a brilliant chance to do tym pass on net. Little did I know how boring that would turn.:P.Finally one of the guys from my department, whom I initially presumed to be chinese although, he is from guwahti, came up to me and talked. His name is Kamal Boro, lolz, I know a funny name, and let me tell u he is an equally idiotic guy, but sometimes hes fun to hang around wid(don't mind yaa).He is the most vella banda of samsung, koi kaam nhi hai iske paas!!Tp karana ho cafeteria mein to he is evrready, n iski office mein jo image hai...uske baare mein to main kya hi kahu:P:P,bt hes a nice buddy to have..ulti helpful n total gapodi:P!!So as I was saying, I finally started interacting with people, who initially were no less than aliens to me I could never dream of gelling with. How wrong can We be??
What followed was talks with "almost everyone" in my department and well to my surprise, they didnt bite or kil me.lol..infact I started enjoyin my office hours. I could talk with ease with evry1, be it Garima(shes the sweetest), leela(who reminds me of my friends mom), moses(gosh his name is soo tough), rashmi(a cuteheart),nitin patney..wht do i say abt him, shubra(independent women of today) and more.Then came the most fun part of my Intern...my staff bus, to catch which I used to get up at 6..lolz...funny corporate timings. My first few days in the bus were quite dull which I passed either listening to my songs or catching a quick nap. Well I regret y i wasted thoz days, coz I was later enlightened ,bus ride cudnt hav been more fun, . They were literally the best moments of my day in the past two months. The people in my bus are just all bindaas..total freaks jst like me..lolz...its ma last week at office and i knw it as a fact that of al the things, its the bus and its ppl tht m gonna miss the most..:(:(..m olready feelin sad abt tht...newyz...so..it happened..my earphones slipped from my ears and so i heard the conversation going on in the bus. A guys wid red hair(lolz,details to follow soon) was enactin sumthin. Its then I realised the whole bus was busy playing dumb charades, n sumhw I jst ended up tellin one of the movies being enacted. Thinking I jst helped them with a muvie, evrybdy readily asked me to join them. From then on there was no looking back. What followed were some rigorous, passionate sessions of playing dumb charades.A guy named alok(evn thgh he is married, it doesnt reflect on his face..lolzz.he is a kid at heart and hes my stop mate, we talk crap daily n do some weird mornin walk too:D) came up with huge databased sheets of movie names. I saw the most bizzare movie collection ever with movies like "efter bryluppet" to "sookhe naale ki tairti laash" being enacted with such enthusiasm as never before. It was like the route 11 bus was bit by the dumb charade syndrome. Another unique person in our bus, mr faris or lovingly called pharizzz changed his stop so he could enjoi sum more precious moments of the game, n he can never tire from askin u sum freak IQ questns,:P, btw he is also the moral police of our bus.I cant help but smile thinking about the antique pieces our bus is filled with. Our vineeta mam, uff dimmag bhakshi, who is in the hunt to find her mr perfect(lol), praaven aka pka,whoz a total gapodi lyk me, kuch bhi bakwaas karwaa lo, he cn jst keep on blabbering without tirin n i end up bein the only one laughin at his lame jokes.., neha mam with her ever loud eye language(mind u she scare the hell out of u with her eye gestures) n jst recently i gotta knw she has been wrkin evr since forver,she is vivacious and lively.., mr SABU...lolz...,aapka abhijeet hehe, ajeet...oops ajit, he has got a very cute infectious smile..lolz(i nvr told u tht)...n i sumhw feel so tempted to trouble him be it with my crap smses or idiotic mails or jst pullin his leg but he is a total shareef guy, jst lyk me...lolz...so u cn imagine hw shareef he wud b,n he has gt his funny bone jst in place, mr manish, the red haired guy, ankit jinki baatein khatam hi nhi hoti, he has a capaity to talk n mak ppl listen to him n b4 crackin a joke he wil nvr forget to say," main ek baat batata hun, hasna mat..n he wil burst into a laughing fit".

Disclaimer: heartiest apologies if I forgot to mention about sum1:(

N how could I forget my next desk punjabi neighbour, Mr gaurav. He is cute, photo mein style maarne ka shauk ahi(thts ma personal observation), ulti friendly n he helped me in debuggin ma code many a tymz, n yeah,,he loves jannat songs lyk nethin, he listens to them al day along..lolz..n he tries n act busy evn whn hes nt..

Thats hw I met some of the most wonderful people I hav evr knwn, serendipitously. N I got sum of most fun n cherished n memorable memories...n i evn learnt hw to play cows n bulls...lolz....m gonna terribly miss thoz fun filled moments, the constant leg pullin of vineeta mam, bina baat pe hasna, talkin absurd nonsense, being treated lyk a kid, the metrowalk outin with ajit and praveen n our ride in auto bck home,the horrible indiana jones movie wid kamal, in which he actually slept and evn snored...lolz..the kachoris of hanuman mandir..these small moments r wht made me the happiest, this is wht m gonna miss, all of it...this was more enrichin learnin experince thn i antcipated and m gonna tak bck with me more than i thght I will...m gonna tak bck some beautiful memories!!!!

its true!!

sittin on ma desk, ma thghts ponder
the silence arnd make the moments last longer
the time seems frozen so does the pain
its gettin harder to breathe, tougher to feign
puppeted ma ways in the hands of destiny
now,i wanna fly, i wanna break free
mould the ways, ressurect ma soul
breathe out the pain, aim 4da goal
be the queen, the wrld wil b at my feet
chose to whine, n i was hurt 4bein me