Fundaas of Indian-English

The Indian version of English has been on a growth trajectory that has led to the evolution of what is for all practical purposes, a language of its own. A hybrid form of English stalks the land, flaunting its illegitimacy, brashness and popularity. Its terrain is an overploughed one, its IQ dangling between the primary and the geeky, its memory garangutan and capable of summoning words from centuries past, its survival instinct similar to that of the chameleon, acclimating with the locales to pander the Indian tastes: Hinglish here, Tamglish there.

The country's fascination for the language has caught up over the years but if it has resulted in English usage getting more communicative is still a question that might get answered by" I can Talk in English, I can Walk in English" and god knows what else. In Delhi and Panjab receptionists always have a "massage" for you which most guys find hard to accept without a baleful smirk. SMSes can't find its existence without the usage of this cocktail of language. But its the newspapers cliches that keeps Indian-English growing, its vocab accretion phenomenal, squeezing out non-existent meanings, dragging in reluctant Hindi words to serve as the morning's laugh inducing headline. And I often wonder what a "Firang" makes out of this heading:"FM maange more!!". Such nuisances have Hindi as the backdrop but borrow heavily and frequently from English to buttress their language and also as a password in elite gatherings which many of us have witnessed with one mausa or distant kin from Jhumritaliya doing what ever it takes to prove their expertise over the language of "So-fis-tication" and ending up making a travesty out of it.

Bollywood again has contributed benevolently in extending the scope of the Indianized English. Spoofs of the language have found immense potential to tickle the funny bones of the viewers and in the end added new vocabularies which have easily segued into everyday usage, be it then Ajit's argot or famous one-liners like" Mera Bad Luck hi Kharaab hai" and so on.
Classifieds are written so fluently and captivatingly in broken English and Indian hearts are left chanting "Yeh Dil Maange More!! or the corny ICICI adline:'No chinta, sirf money'. Analyzing the roadside advertisements can turn a mundane ride into an awe-inspiring one with advertised services like ' Great care of all sarts of diseases without medicines...........If you are overcomed by jaadu, bhoot and/or palit' and quacks assuring solutions to all S** Problems and Boost to Great S** drive wid one medicine called 'Vigoura' with a 'shake well before use' instruction.:)

Websites like Shaadi.com and Bharatmatrimony.com are a haven for lonely hearts. The classified trying to win over women bring out the best in practitioners of Indian-English for they are burdened with not just of putting together a sentence-an arduous task for most of them- but they have to be humorous and romantic and hip to boot which leaves their lonely hearts quite flabbergasted. Here is how one lonely heart tried to seek a fe-male
Hello viewers, my name is Hardik, I am single and without a female. If any one want to marrie me u can visit to my home. I am not good education but I working all field in Bangalroe..if u like me u welcome to my heart.
All I pray is there's enough space there. Here is another one which I had to share coz it left me in a laughing fit...
I want one girl who love me or my mother. She love me heartly or she have a frank skin color 'normal' nor a black or whitey. I think the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful but I am not a handsome boy but my mom says that I am a good boy. My father already expired. I am 'Aeklauta'. The choice is your.
Now I am wondering if it yours' or your's? But using the wisdom of a man who wants a 'frank skin normal' colored lady, he decided to go for the safe third option that is to drop the possesive 's' and stick to your. At least he wouldn't lose a wife for a sake of anything but a misplaced apostrophe.

The English does not easily segue into the Hindi lines, as we see in the party number. But who cares? The English makes known the movie's ambition and the viewer in the front row gets to see a sexy number- cleavage,legs and all that. He doesnot complain. Why on earth shoud he? So when the lady sings 'Let's party tonight', none of them thinks that the movie is going to take a political turn and a new party is going to be launched to counter the Samajwadi party in UP.
Indian-English, for all our contempt, is set to unifying thread across the nation. In hoardings, in ads and movies, Indian-English is already, without doubt the accepted form. With its own bizarre grammar, spellings and vocabulary, Indian English has defeated the Queen's English in a centuries-long battle. The intrusion or acceptance of Hinglish is now nationalized mainly due to the assumption that the ipod generation prefers to 'cut the crap' and go straight to the heart in local lingo which is again a forensic topic.